What an awful, dreary day. But it was made better by a visit from the (on/off) bf, what was lovely. Even though it was only a few hours it cheered me up no end. We had a lush roast and messed about with my slightly wild brother. Just delightful.
My thoughts today; will you ever be as happy as you always strive to be? I mean, I’m always buying new things and changing my hair and my appearance, but for what? Will I ever be just happy with how I am and what I have? My answer: no. No matter how many clothes I buy or hairstyles I choose, I will constantly try to be better. Which can get very tiring. But surely it seems to be the same for many girls/women. We do anything we can to better ourselves and yet we never think we've quite got there, at times we may be close (after hours of make-up preparation and a trip to the salon) but we never reach it. The bf always tells me the opposite of all of this (mostly I’m sure just to shut me up) but it never sinks in, I just wonder will I ever be satisfied with how I am? And what kind of a culture have I been raised in that makes young women feel so awful about how they appear? Girls as young as 16 are considering boob jobs and plastic surgery, and yet they aren't even old enough to drink yet, let alone change their bodies to unrecognisable lengths. It's just crazy. So, I’ve decided. I'm going to try and stop being something I may never be, perfect. And just be happy with myself. This is my project. The first of many projects I’m sure. But this one, I’m going to try my hardest with, because to be honest with you, I’m pure fed up with that jealous feeling when you walk past someone super glamorous and would just kill to be her. So it's time to say bye wannabe, and hello me. Yes?
On another topic, i'm reading a fab book at the moment. Even though I should be ashamed to admit my absolute love for crappy, chick lit books I just can't get enough of them. Right now it's One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushell (yes, author of SATC, my other guilty pleasure much to my dad's angst) and I love it. Based around an apartment block on Fifth Aveneue NY, it's all about the tennants and their glam (or not so glam?) lives. It ticks every box, love, sex, money, jealousy and unhappiness. 10/10 from me (:
In other literay news, the whole Alice in Wonderland thing is really taking off this year with Tim Burtons movie adaptation of the Lewis Caroll classic coming out this month starring Johnny Depp (swoooon!) Anne Hathaway, new starlett Mia Wasikowska amougst other superstars. Urban outfitters have done a few Alice related tees (i've got mine) and there's plenty of tea party jewllery as well. And in one Parisien department store their window display is fully Alice In Wonderland decked out (all be it fashioned in Christopher Kane, Alexander McQueen and Haider Ackermann with a rabbits head).